Thursday, July 17, 2008

Bag Balm

Everyone raved about my most recent contraversial, yet poigniantly brilliant, blog. So I decided to not give the people what they want, because satisfaction is just so boring, and to cast your eyes in an incontravertably opposite direction.... to that of everlasting friendships.
In two weeks, nay, just a week, I and two beloved daughters of God will embark on a journey northward to a desolate, barren, cowboy-ridden land of boredom. Some call it Zion, some call it Hell. "Why?" you may ask... you will find the answer in the wind, the wind of everlasting friendships.
Okay, that was getting quite fluffy and realistic, so let us switch gears momentarily, even though you mormon girls eat up nonsense like that (yes, I know about your Twilight obsessions, but that is another blog for another time.)
Nikerbocker, Deb-bot, and Hayley Labrum are going to Driggs, Idaho. Their "vacation" spans the days of July the 25th to July the 28th. Let's just be honest here, shall we ladies? The ONLY reason we are going, well there are two reasons, and they are: cowboys and freshly-squeezed (and by freshly-squeezed I mean from the cow tit [remember when I got in that car accident and you guys gave me that strange ointment, what was it...Bag Balm?]) milky-creamy ice cream. Okay, you got me, that's not entirely true. The real reasons are Melissa and Danielle Juarez. I put Missy first 'cause I like her better and Dani gets a big head about things like that.
Notice how near the words "Bag Balm" and "milky-creamy ice cream" are to each other in that paragraph.
Needless to say, I am incredibly excited and delighted to rekindle the everlasting friendships that Nikki Guymon (or is it Mena), Deborah Sorensen, Mellisa Juarez, Danielle Juarez and I, Hayley Labrum formed over the last academic year. (Deb: pretty soon you and I are gonna to be outnumbered and the Mexican last names will prevail...we must start planning now...)
So get ready DRIGGSY, 'cause here we freakin' COME!

11 comments:

Dani said...

oooohhhh boy. laughed the whole way through it. just you wait, hayley labrum, cause it's gonna BLOW YOUR MIND! or something like that.
oh, and i'm glad you remembered the bag balm. if we get into any more unfortunate accidents, we have a small jar of it on hand in our junk drawer. never fear.

deb said...

Aye Caramba. Bag balm sorta weirds me out. Why do they have to call the cows privates "bag". sick. Also, I do feel a little outnumbered by the mexicans. Perhaps we will find our Pedro's and Stephen's while we are in the Idaho. I'm real excited. Fo' real. OH and the Hush. I am going to buy my ticket promptly. I am SO freaking excited. I might buy a t-shirt. Love it!

Meg Duffy said...

dani made fun of me for loving my bag balm.... hayley i am so jealous - driggs is truly amazing... you will see... i wish i was going, i would give 1/3 of my left pinky tow to go.

Unknown said...

Pinky tow--what the heck is that?
Yes, I AM completely obsessed with Twilight. I won't rest until I find a vampire to marry.
On another more non-fabricated note, I am so excited for our trip up to Driggs I can hardly stand it! It's going to be so amazing to at least have 5 of us reunited again. Hayley, you are in for the time of your life!

Dani said...

uh....make that four. christie isn't with us.
or were you counting missy, too? you sweet thing.

Dani said...

also, i just posted a schedule of our activities for driggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deb said...

haha. Can you imagine if Christie came with?! It would be a blast times ten! HAY-HAWT, so I don't know who is driving. I commented on Nik-cmo's blog. The gist (cause I can tell you don't want to go there and look) is that my dad said that my car might make it, but more likely not. Plus the AC is out. So, we need to decide on this car business. I would ask the parents for their cars (because they are freaking nice, the cars...and my parents) but they guzzle the gasoline like none other. Plus, they would make me leave my kidney for insurance if they ever let me take one. I like my kidneys where they are in case you were considering it.

Unknown said...

I'll ask my mom about the van. I want Debbie's kidneys to reside in their current locations as well.
Dani, I WAS referring to Missy. Why would I be talking about Christie? She almost doesn't exist anymore because of the whole marriage thing.

hayley said...

Yeah, I've seen Christie thrice since she got married, once for Rob's birthday, once when they wre in town, and once for my birthday. and we're supposed to be best friends! Meh, I knew it would happen.
So, car thing:
My Dad's civic taht he sometimes lets me drive gets amazing gas mileage, like 34 mpg. It's a two door with a smallish trunk, manual windows, no leather, no sun roof, but I think it does have airbags. I could ask, I'm scared though, it's his baby, and since he doesn't have a job it's not like we could just buy a new car if I crashed it. But i wouldn't crash it, so maybe that would work. I'll bring it up... gently.
Why do they call cow privates "bag"?

deb said...

erm, maybe I made that up. I'm all sheepish now.

Unknown said...

Can I just say that I laughed out loud at every single one of the pictures on your side bar!