Thursday, October 7, 2010

The beat goes on.

Hello dear friends and associates.

You may be wondering what is going on with me? Well, some of you know the details of my life, but some of you don't. And you still won't. I'm not going to put the details of my life on the internet.
For a more general idea of what is going on with me, read the following.
I'm still a 2 year-olds preschool teacher. I still teach an art class after school once a week. I still live with my parents. I still want to get a masters degree and I still want to live my life out as a creative genius. In other news, the significant other, that I have been dating for the past year+, and I are no longer dating, and no that does not mean we are engaged. But, as I said previously, I am not about to discuss the sensitive inner-workings of my life on the world wide web.
I am also considering a move. Perhaps to Houston, TX.
I am also considering various professional fields, including, but not limited to: Textile Design, Graphic Design, Pediatrics, Custom card-making. One of these things is not like the other...
I have a severe and deep-rooted love for art and creating stuff, but I also think I could be good at something like healing sick children. That idea suddenly sprouted in my head one day and I really haven't thought too much about it since. ???

Now for a spiritual tangent.
I have learned a lot in the past... year or so. Mostly about the world and people in it. It has been a very trying year for me. I have been trying to figure out where my life is going. I feel that it has been remarkably unstable and even out of control. I'm not married, I don't have children, I don't have a career, and I feel like I am ambling along, unsure of any certain path I should take. Getting married, birthing and rearing babies and having a career are undoubtedly goals that I hold in high regard in my life, but I am learning that trusting in the arm of God and not the arm of flesh sometimes means waiting... sometimes means not getting what you want right away.. sometimes means going through a lot to get where you want to be.
I am by no means intending this to sound like a complaint, I don't feel that way at all. I am very grateful for the opportunities God has given me, that He knows I needed to grow in the ways I have. I trust Him now more than I did a year ago. I sense His presence in my life now more than I did a year ago. I feel His wisdom and divine purposes at work in my life more now than I did a year ago. I am grateful for His Son more than I was a year ago.
I trust Him in everything, and I expect that trust to grow exponentially for the rest of my life.

It all hinges on the day-to-day.
It has been a necessity for me to fill my life with good things, and believe me, it matters.
I need to know that I will feel the Spirit consistently in my life, therefore attending my church meetings, institute and the temple on a regular basis have become necessary staples of my regular spiritual diet. There is no replacement also for the power of personal prayer and scripture study. I also read my patriarchal blessing often. I can tell you straight up, without these blessings in my life ALL THE TIME, I would be a mess ALL THE TIME, I would've cracked long ago, particularly prayer and scripture study. How do people live their lives WITHOUT the gospel??? I have no idea.

General Conference.
President Monson's talk on gratitude opened my eyes.
Last night when I got home from work I was exhausted. I laid on my bed with pain in the nerves of my neck and aches littering my muscles. I whined in my head until I started looking around my room at all the crap I have. Then thought about the comfortable temperature of my home and the cold rain outside. How many people in the world are too hot, too cold, don't have dinner to eat and don't have a job to be tired from? I felt so sheepish at that moment and my heart opened. I was humbled and promised the Lord I would feel more gratitude and express it for the ridiculous amount of blessings I have, spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.

These are some of the feelings of my heart in the past little while. Share some of yours too. Wow, I'm turning into a sentimental loony-bin, I'm sounding like MEG!

5 comments:

just nikki said...

You ARE sounding like Meg! But Meg is a good person so that's okay, I guess.

I'm always impressed with your good attitude and outlook on life. A lot of really awful things have happened to you but you always recognize the blessings instead.

President Monson is such an awesome example. I can learn a lot from him.

Why Houston?

Jennifer said...

Hayley, you're awesome. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and testimony. The Lord does love you and has so many blessings in store for you. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll not have room enough to receive them all.
We love you!

Stephanie said...

Hayley, you really are such an example to me! I love that I get to know you. Thanks for sharing, even if it was Meggish.

And I agree with Nikki...Houston? I mean, it is a little closer to me, but not by much! And it's hot.

hayley said...

I know, seems random, but my friend Whitney already lives in Houston and could probably get me a job there. Plus, in Winter the weather might just be perfect!

Danita said...

Nooooooo....don't go to Houston!